I used to thing my life would work out perfectly! I would finish school be this very accomplished strong woman and i would do and be so many great things. Then high school reality hit...i spiraled in to this person that was just not at all who i expected to be or see in myself. Sure i was young and thought that i was invinsible and didnt want anyone or anything to tell me what i could or couldnt do, and if they did i was going to do it no matter what the cost. OH HOW STUPID!!! I find myself thinking i wish i would have thought that through a lil more or my all time fav. i wish i would have listened!!! As time has gone on i have only become more stuborn,a lil care free when it came to things,i hate asking for help and i still dont really listen! YA THINK I WOULD GET THE HANG OF IT!!! I have spent the last two days thinking about myself and who and what i am to be....and i realized i am nothing of what i wanted to be. I dont know that sounds a lil debby downer and what not but i dont mean it in that way. I dont know to most who saw such bright things for me...i mean they must really be bummer out right now....I never became that nurse i was to be....I never did amazing things with music like i was to...I just didnt do the things i was supposed to when i was supposed to do them. Last night i went to a lil devotional thing which really is not my thing at all but i went because i had already committed to sing at it but in all honesty i felt so out of place but not ashamed if you know what i mean. I dont know how to explain what i felt being there...I guess peace,Loved,and i honestly can say that someone in that room was not dissapointed and it was me!!!! For the first time in a long time life was how it was ment to be, how it always was supposed to be. I was ment to live life this way...it is the things that i have been through and will yet do and be apart of that will make me most happy. I am to let go and to allow these things to shape me, which they already have with out me truely noticing. No longer will i be worried that i have dissapointed someone or feel that i have made a bad choice in life because around every turn there is some new door. I will not allow myself to dabble in what i should have been or should have done because they all are what ifs...I will live for right here right now and be the best Me. I will make the most out of what is placed in front of me!